Good morning everyone, i am writing dis with tears, 26yrs old girl, i dont know what happoned, my life has changed and the way i have been feeling now for the past 1year even more is not how my life used to be, i was once very happy and enjoy anything i do, but now alot has changed about my life, i am not happy always sad and keep sad sad, teard upon tears, i even went to youtube to watch videos about depression and dat is exactly how am always feeling, exactly what dey say on youtube about depression, am always lonely even when am around people, is like am in my own world living alone there, nothing makes me happy, anytime i wake up in the morning, am always sad and feel empty, is like my brain is not working like de way it used to be, is like some part of my brain is no longer functioning, am so tired and confused, someone even told me dat its depression and he gave me one pill like dat''depres sion pill and he told me to eat it before sleeping and i did as he instructed and ask me how i felt after taking de bill the next day and i explained to him dat after taking de drugs before sleeping, the next morning when i woke up i find myself crying and he told me i was really depreseed dat i was even at de point of killing myself and i believed him bcos tins like dat do come to my mind all de time, he said i need to see a doctor, dat there are special doctor for dat and he said i have to go like 5 to 6 section and its very expensive, a section is 500euro and i really dont have money for all dat and he even told me dat i cant afford it bcos he knows i dont have a job not to taik of affording de money to solve my problem, he also said being with someone i love will help, i went to visit my boyfriend bcos we dont stay in desame country and i spend more than 1month, oh he is a very nice and caring guy, all those while when i was with him i feel little bit better just 10% better not much and now i have gone back to were i based and its getting worst, even my predicament is tearing me and my boyfriend apart, i bring up stupid argument all de time bcos of de sadness in me, and he is tired of all dat and i dont even want to lose him bcos he is very nice and respectful, i swear am dying, is like am dead among de living, am tired of dis kind of life bcos i know if dis continues i will die, i feel it, plz what else can i do to get help bcos no money to solve my problem, home and abroad is hard, tins are hard and i am so confused plz what can i do, bcos i dont know who else will i explain my problems to dat will understand, for God's sake, i dont know who to explained how i feel to dat will understand me very well and help me out so my good people, i decided to bring it here, bcos i will not die like dis, am inside de bus crying bcos life is so meaniless, and it has gotten to the point dat whenever i see people happy it will look strange to be and when i tried to be happy like dem it get worst, plz help, i dont even know if its spiritual, am confused