I met this really cool (at least that was thought at the time), fine man who was everything I ever dreamt of in a man (physically I mean), he is tall, had a seeming great personality, had a decent job...well, frm our first date, he told he just wanted to marry me, long story short, a year later we got married. I was 23 when we started courting and 24 when we got married. Unfortunately, he was quite physically abusive and I loved him with my whole heart and was really tolerating stuff and praying he would change. Things got so bad to d point where he would bring girls into our home and sleep with them on our matrimonial bed and I couldn't confront him for fear of being beaten up so I ***** ed up all and tolerated. A matured married lady in my church so I confided in for counsel advised me to trail the girls who came to my home and deal with them, she even offered to arrange guys who would beat them up for me for a little amount. Well, I was mad abt d way the man i was married to treated but i wasnt going to go harm anybody cos of him, she kept pushing until i started avoiding her and eventually shut her out of my life completely. Payback from her was her telling other women in church things I told her in confidence. Well, 7yrs into my marriage, I walked away cos d violence was getting life threatening and a few weeks later, I met that woman's best friend at d airport and greeted her, she told me so many things in 1hour, part of it being that d woman i was even confiding in and seeking counsel from was going thru deeper shit than i was at the time. He hubby impregnated her sister and a cousin and habitually brought girls to their home and she had never fought anyone about that So i kept wondering why she was pushing me to go beat up some other people when she herself doesn't do that in same situation. And i was glad I didn't do wat she pushed me to do.who knows? I'd probably be in jail for murder by now.