I opened the door. Immediately my wife went on her knees, begging that it was the devil again.

I refused to talk to her and walked out of the apartment. I just walked round and round the neighbourhood because I felt lost and didn’t know where to go or who to talk to. I felt thoroughly betrayed. I had never looked at another woman in my life, before and even after I met her. I’d never looked at porn magazines or movie, not to talk of having a girlfriend, and worse still, owning a sex toy.

I could only manage to keep my anger for two days as she kept crying and asking for forgiveness, promising never to use it again. I could not bear to see her that way too, so, I insisted she had to tell me the truth.

She then told me that since the matter was no longer a secret, it was better she confessed everything to me. She said the vibrator was hers and she had been using it even before she became a born again Christian, as she was introduced to it while in Secondary school. (A girls only school) I don’t understand the logic, but she said it was a way to show that they did not need male company? Were they Lesbians?

She insisted they were not. When she became “born again” in the university, she stopped, she said. This was where we met and started first as friends, then I got the message that she was my wife and we eventually got married two years after our service year. She said she was forced to go and buy another vibrator after a discussion with some ladies in her office about how much they enjoyed their sex life and she missed the fun she used to have. She also told me that she does not get satisfaction from what we do together but did not want to hurt my feelings by telling me and begged me to allow her to continue using the thing and that it will not affect what we have together, after all, I never would have guessed it, if I had not caught her using it.

My problem now is that, though I have not caught her again in almost two months, I am still not happy because I know she is doing it and its disgusting to me. Though she says it will not affect us, it is already affecting me because anytime I want to have sex with her, that picture comes to my mind and spoils my mood. I will have to just force myself because I have nowhere else to relieve myself.

My work schedule is very tight as I work in the bank and have to leave home very early in the morning and most times, don’t return home until around 10pm or even later. I am also taking some professional courses, so, that also takes away most of my weekends. But my wife is a teacher, so she has more than enough time on her hands to do all she wants before I return.

Before you ask what I have done to make our love life better, I have tried to do everything she tells me, and though she says she is now enjoying it, I am not convinced. I do not see that look on her face. And it is making me feel inadequate as a husband. We have been married for three years and we are yet to conceive a child and I sometimes wonder if this is her priority. I know what I am facing with my mother and family on that issue alone, not to now add this one to it.

Have I not bitten more than I can chew with this girl? My wife is unfaithful to me and I am powerless to do anything about it. Please Aunty Yetunde, help me. I want Nigerians to advise me on what next to do. I don’t want anyone to know my identity please.

Worried guy in Lagos.

Well Nigerians, the ball is in your court. As is my style, I never assume I have the best answers to all relationship problems and this guy is sure not expecting me to provide him one.

He is asking for your opinion to enable him take his decisions concerning his situation. So, what do you think is the way out for this couple? Is worried guy just a sex novice or his wife is being too clever by half? Is she really cheating on him with this toy or helping him? There are so many other issues I noticed in this guy’s story which I am hoping you will spot out too.