I am scared of asking my boyfriend for money because I don�...

I am scared of asking my boyfriend for money because I don’t want him to leave me. We have dated for 3 years now and I have never in my life asked him for money, he just gives me anything and anytime he likes and I appreciate and say thank you.
I try so hard to make it work because he kept lamenting on how his girlfriend was a gold digger and all that, even when I am dying in need I won’t ask I rather borrow even tho I know he has it . So yesterday I saw his phone and went through his chat and realized one particular number he has been cheating with , went on whatssap and saw dirty chats , so I went to his text messages and saw credit alert to one particular name , over 1.3 million in 2 months but I can tell you that over 2 years of our relationship he has only giving me money 3 times and it was 10k, 7k and 25k .
Now I see him send money to another woman . Hon I feel hurt I want to hurt him so bad. Make him cry and wish to die . Hon what can I do, I want him to give me and he must or I will hurt him

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