So my parents are the strictest parents you could ever have, honestly. I'm sure some people out there have it worse. My whole life I've been deprived of a social life. No normal sleepovers when I was younger like girls should have. I am not allowed to step foot out of my house, I am not allowed to hang out with friends, I'm not allowed to make phone calls without being badgered. I go to school, I come home, I play games, go to bed, and repeat. The only time I see people is when I go to school.
Moving on, this restriction and isolation has mentally and emotionally damaged me as a person (there are other factors that I'd rather not get into) because I, for reasons, cannot handle the isolation. Being home has become a chore and I cannot live here any longer. I will put up with the final year I have left but I'm afraid if I stay longer than that, I will not make it.
All of this caused me to finally rebel, secretly. Six months ago as of yesterday I reconnected with someone I had met when I was younger, a person I looked up to. Six months ago, we clicked, romantically. I (F17) have been with him (M23) since then, we have fallen in love, and I plan to move in with him once I turn 18.
None of my family knows any detail about it. And it really ***** s sometimes, as a teenage girl I wish I could share these things with my mother. How I had fallen in love, little old me who was numb for most of her life, could you believe that? I wanted to share it with her, tell her how happy he makes me, how he makes me feel like I have a reason to be here. Ask her for advice. But I cannot, because she would shun me for the rest of my life for lying and kick me out. None of them would support me.
I don't plan on breathing a word of it to them until the day of my birthday, where I will leave, and start my life. But the guilt is a lot to handle sometimes.