My first contact with this guy whom I will call worried guy for the purpose of this article was through another e-mail address. He’d asked if I could spare a few minutes to discuss a very personal issue with him on a given phone number which I’d obliged.

We have been talking ever since and the thrust of our discussion is what I have reproduced below as he has requested. Worried guy is a 32 year old hard working and very focussed banker, while his wife whom he met at the university works as a teacher in a private Secondary school.
They are both Christians and have been married for close to three years, but he would rather not take his problems to the church for personal reasons. He is counting on you and I to work things out. Please, let do this together!
Dear Yetunde,
I have a very serious problem which has started affecting me psychologically and even my performance at my job.
I have tried to work things out with my wife but it has not yielded any positive result as I am not convinced about the situation. I feel too ashamed to discuss the problem with my pastor and even worse with my mother because I know that will only escalate things. Trust me, I know my mother and mothers generally. As for my friends, I am afraid they might turn around to use it against us and make me the butt of their jokes
My problem started last December, over the festive period to be precise. I caught my wife on our matrimonial bed having sex with a vibrator. I almost collapsed because I was shocked beyond what words can describe. I found myself shaking from head to toe, unable to even say anything. I felt so disgusted and sick that I had to rush to the bathroom to splash water over my face to avoid vomiting.
She must have been so engrossed in what she was doing that she did not even know when I entered our apartment and walked into the room to find her in that position. It was my movement that brought her back to reality.
What I found most disturbing at that moment was why she could not wait for me if she was so in need of sex, since I’d called her earlier on that I was on my way home. And though she got up immediately and started pleading with me that it was the devil, I did not bring myself to talk to her until very early in the morning of the next day.
She told me a friend in her office had given it to her to try out and it was her first time of using it. And that she would have told me about it but wanted to try it out first. She mentioned somebody’s name which she said I have never met and pleaded that she would return it and never use it again. She managed to convince me that it was an innocent one-off-thing which I did not need to bother myself about and I accepted.
But it was difficult for me to forget as I kept seeing the picture of her in that position in my head and wondering if it was right for a married, Christian woman to be doing such a thing. To me, it is something made by the Satan for his children.
Later that week, she told me she had returned it and things went back to normal between us but I was surprised to find the instrument again in her underwear drawer by accident. She was not at home, so I took it out and laid it on her side of the bed. As soon as she saw it, she went on her knees again and began to beg me.
She said she did not know how to return the thing since it was a gift and would not want to upset her colleague at the office, nor embarrass herself. She insisted she was not using it and was also scouting for whom she too can give it to.
Since I did not catch her using it, I had no choice but to let it go. However, I was not comfortable and began suspecting her. I later hatched a plan to catch her and before long, it worked. What I saw that evening was worse than the previous one and still haunts me till today.
I’d never seen my wife look that way before even when we are doing it. I was transfixed that I had to hide quietly behind the door way to allow her finish before I opened the door. Immediately my wi