LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (very long but an
interesting read and food for thought)
Dear Parents,
Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and
then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now.
The first thing that I discovered about UK-born,
white, English undergraduates was that all of them
did holiday or weekend job to support themselves
- including the children of millionaires amongst
them. It is the norm over there - regardless how
wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered
that virtually all other foreign students did the
same - the exception being those of us status
conscious Nigerians.
I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin
Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel and, to
my amazement he said that his young children
travel in the economy class -even when the parents
(he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard
Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick
survey would show you that only children from
Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence
their studies in the UK. No other foreign students
do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office
of the Prime Minister in the UK - he travels on BA.
And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does
not have an aircraft for her exclusive use. These
practices simply become the culture, which the
next generation carries forward. Have you seen
the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince
William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there's one core difference them and us
(generally speaking). They (even the billionaires
among them) work for their money, we steal ours!
If we want our children to bring about the desired
change we have been praying for on behalf of our
dear country, then please, please let's begin now
and teach them to work hard so they can stand
alone and most importantly be content, and not
having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these
days.
"30 is the new 18", which seem to be the new age
for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That
seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted
mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in
Nigeria. At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the
UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the
University, chances are, that's the last time those
parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or
daughter except of course the occasional home
visits during the academic year. At 21 years and
above or below, the now fully grown and
independent minded adult graduates from
University, searches for employment, gets a job
and shares a flat with other young people on a
journey into becoming fully fledged adults. I can
hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is
because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well
structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ
and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK
trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been
practising for the past 10 years in Nigeria. I have a
broad range of experience from recruiting
graduates to executive director level of large
corporations. In addition, I talk from the point of
view of someone with relatively privileged
upbringing. Driven to school every day, had my
clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any
part-time job during my A-levels so that I could
concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got
the opportunity to live apart from my parents
from age 18 and the only time I came back home to
stay was for 3 months before I got married! Am I
saying that every parent should wash their hands
off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of
course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from
living on and off at my parent's house in London -
indeed that is the
primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3
bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely
no direct financial help from my parents! For me,
pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was
ever enough for my lifesty