Inter-tribal marriage: What pain, what gain?

Date: 21-12-2010 10:39 am (13 years ago) | Author: Daniel Bosai
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- at 21-12-2010 10:39 AM (13 years ago)
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WHEN the country fought a civil war between 1967-70, the slogan on the mouths of the federal troops and everyone else on the federal side was, “to keep Nigeria one is a task that must be done.’’ Forty years since the end of the war, some Nigerians still deplore inter-tribal marriage, which is one of the potent weapons for welding the country together. These critics of inter-tribal marriage among Nigerians cite the traditional myths against other tribes in the country, and mouth verbal strictures against other tribes without let.



For instance, among many of the indigenes of Plateau State, myths have it that the Yoruba are unusually skilled juju practitioners who could do almost any evil imaginable with black medicine. It is also said that the Yoruba are very dirty people who go to the toilet without cleaning themselves up properly. Parents of mwaghavul, merniang and berom girls are often found relating the misadventure of their women who married among the Yoruba. Interestingly, a Bini food vendor at a motor park in Jos, Plateau State, who heard details from an interaction between this writer and a merniang girl over the phone charged this writer thus in Yoruba: “Ah, e ma fe omo awon ara biyi o. Asewo won ti poju. Iranu won po gan ni. Té ba de Ibadan, e lo wa omobinrin gidi fe. (Ha, don’t marry from this tribe. Their girls are neck deep in prostitution. When you get to Ibadan, go and look for a decent girl to marry).

Among the Yoruba, the Igbo are derided as ajokuta ma mumi (those who eat stone without drinking water), while the Igbo refer to the Yoruba as akintola, the name of an obstructive weed. Again, they refer to the Yoruba as ndi ofe nmanu (people who are fond of eating oily soup), thus ridiculing Yoruba culinary preferences. They also refer to the Yoruba as Ngbati ngbati, due to their perception that Yoruba people use the adverbial item, ni gbati (when) frequently.  Indeed, it appears that the Yoruba fare better than the Hausa among the igbo, who refer to Hausa people as ndi na kpo isi n’ala, meaning people who are fond of hitting their heads on the ground, a practice the Igbo deplore since they are, like many other southern Nigeria tribes, overwhelmingly Christian.

Again, while the Hausa dismiss the Yoruba as berebe, the Yoruba refer to  the Hausa by the pejorative term Gambari, hence the wisecrack: Gambari pa Fulani, ko lejo n nu (Gambari kills Fulani; case dismissed).  Indeed, one Yoruba joker was so malicious as to claim that in a certain motor accident, “two human beings and two hausa died in the accident.’’

Interestingly, even among people of the same tribe, sub-ethnic preferences obtain during marriage. For instance, other Yoruba tribes dismiss Akure girls as prostitutes who refer to all men as “Ogaa mi,’’ the implication being that Akure girls disguise their segxwal promiscuity by referring to their lovers as ‘my master.’ Among the Ondo people, the Oyo people are referred to as koololo, meaning people who do not want their children sent on errands. Thus, Ondo girls would often ask rhetorically : e saa fe koololo? (Who will marry koololo?)

Remarkably, linguistic considerations are often cited against inter-tribal marriage. For instance, a few years ago when this writer was returning from national service in Plateau State, a Merniang girl whom he had  jokingly asked whether she would love to go to Yoruba land with him turned down the offer, with the excuse that “if I go to your markets, I won’t understand what the people are saying.’’ The lady, who said she loved the writer, stated that she would marry the writer if he decided to settle down in her town.

Apparently for the lady, who had no opposition to inter-tribal marriage per se, the linguistic isolation which the inter-tribal marriage could precipitate  was the decisive cautionary factor.

It is also often claimed that during wars, inter-tribal marriage could prove very dangerous indeed. For instance, stories abound of brutalities visited on Ife women by the Modakeke, and vise versa, during the fratricidal crisis which engulfed Ile-Ife, particularly in the late 1990s. “The cultural barrier is also another problem, and you can see that even the Nigerian men who marry American girls often run into problems,” said Mrs Azeezat Ajadi, a cosmetician. She added: “The Yoruba call it ayojuran and oju kokoro (one deliberately fishing in trouble water) when you marry from distant tribes.’’

However, apostles of inter-tribal marriage celebrate if for what they termed its many gains. Mrs Omofolake Owabiire, a business woman, said “inter-tribal marriage allows people of a tribe to get familiar with the norms, values and taboos of another tribe; it should be encouraged because it fosters good rapport among Nigerians.’’

Owabiire’s sentiments are echoed by Chijioke Uwasomba, a lecturer at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria. Uwasomba, a Marxist scholar who specialises in literature, said “inter-tribal marriage is very, very positive, especially in a country with diverse cultures such as ours. It encourages federalism and, beyond that, we have to see ourselves as one people. Human beings constitute a pot-pourri of life. Inter-tribal marriage should be encouraged because it strengthens Nigeria’s federalism and helps to foster a pan-Nigerian agenda.’’


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Recent Experience
A couple, Adeyemi Adenaike and Chinyere Udodinma, who were  recently joined together (Novenber 6, 2010) at the Latter Rain Assembly church, Lagos, told their uplifting story to the Nigerian Tribune.

Hear Adeyemi: “ I  didn’t have a problem with the fact that we were not from the same tribe, but she did. She said that she needed to check if that was what God was saying (that they should marry) and if it would be fine with her parents. It didn’t take us long to overcome the challenge because God showed the father through a vision that we were meant for each other.’’

And Chinyere: “My parents said no to a Yoruba man but God being who He is and doing things in His own way, today we’ve had a breakthrough.’’

So then, young man, if your wife is in Afganistan, surely you will go there. And, girl, you may find love in Burundi. Perhaps the time has come when the argument of Martin Luther King (Jnr) should take root: that we should judge a person by the content of his character rather than the colour of his skin.

It’s December. Let the wedding bells toll. Let them toll, please.


Posted: at 21-12-2010 10:39 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
- sophiebaby at 21-12-2010 10:41 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
i go marry anywhere

but that guy black oooooooooo

Posted: at 21-12-2010 10:41 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- Henchmann at 21-12-2010 10:43 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 21-12-2010 10:41 AM
i go marry anywhere

but that guy black oooooooooo

Wetin concern u, abi u like am.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 10:43 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- MissyBarbie at 21-12-2010 10:52 AM (13 years ago)
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Shit!!  that guy tooo black haa haa
Posted: at 21-12-2010 10:52 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Henchmann at 21-12-2010 10:58 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: MissyBarbie on 21-12-2010 10:52 AM
Shit!!  that guy tooo black haa haa

Even u too, u don dey trip eem.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 10:58 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- MissyBarbie at 21-12-2010 11:02 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Trip ke??? abeg i waka
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:02 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Henchmann at 21-12-2010 11:06 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: MissyBarbie on 21-12-2010 11:02 AM
Trip ke??? abeg i waka

Shwoooooo

Na so d guy wor-wor reach. Take am easy.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:06 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- oyindabty at 21-12-2010 11:12 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
me i go marry from anywhere so far we Love oursef
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:12 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- kc40 at 21-12-2010 11:17 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
ok trabalysim
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:17 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- Henchmann at 21-12-2010 11:21 AM (13 years ago)
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Quote from: oyindabty on 21-12-2010 11:12 AM
me i go marry from anywhere so far we Love oursef

Even if the man black pass dis one.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:21 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- FlyMamacita at 21-12-2010 11:23 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 21-12-2010 10:41 AM
i go marry anywhere

but that guy black oooooooooo
Grin Grin
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:23 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- onyiis at 21-12-2010 11:24 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
God has an upper say in whatever i do

Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:24 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- oyindabty at 21-12-2010 11:25 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
@Henchmann na Love matta no bi black i won chop.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:25 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- Treasure2 at 21-12-2010 11:28 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
HMMMMMMMMM, IF NA AGBA, E GET AS E BE, YOU IF NA AROUND MY ..........................
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:28 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- TOCHI4LOVE at 21-12-2010 11:41 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: MissyBarbie on 21-12-2010 10:52 AM
Shit!!  that guy tooo black haa haa
YOU SELF LOOKS LIKE HIM  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:41 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- DELAT at 21-12-2010 11:43 AM (13 years ago)
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All those who said the guy is too black,are nothing but brain wasch Nigger.Do you want him to change colour?
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:43 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- onyiis at 21-12-2010 11:44 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
lol

Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:44 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- TOCHI4LOVE at 21-12-2010 11:45 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
MONKY NAVER SEE BANANA SHE DE DISCRIEB DE TYPE SHE WANT Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:45 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- TOCHI4LOVE at 21-12-2010 11:46 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: DELAT on 21-12-2010 11:43 AM
All those who said the guy is too black,are nothing but brain wasch Nigger.Do you want him to change colour?

MY BROTHER THEY EVEN SEE ANY ONE NOW? Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:46 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- dappa at 21-12-2010 11:48 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
it connects two tribe ,i love it.
Posted: at 21-12-2010 11:48 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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