hmmmmmn!!!!
Diz d first time am gonn b postin a confession here even tho am always here to read oda ppls posts and comments!
Aint askin for ani advice, coz al dah yhu are gonn say... I knw dem all... Jst wana share diz piece wif yhu guyz and also wana let yhu al knw dah trueli there are unseen forces bhnd so mani actz!
Naw back to d mata... It may sound simpl and ordinary to many buh ma dearest fwendz... Itz nt... Ma confession is abou how masturbation has changed ma whole bein includin ma bodi chemistry and has turned me to sum1 differently... Wif low self esteem, life of fear and torment.... Shriveled bodi... Sadist and above all a drop in ma I.Q.
Now b4 i proceed... I wana let yhu guyz out dere who are into it dah.... If anibodi eva tells yhu dah diz demonic act propelled by demonic spirits is normal for an individual then tell dah person dah he or she is a liar frm d pit of hell... Even medical doctors inclusive! Am aint sayin diz coz am born again or sort of buh ave promised ma self dah i wil neva eva indulge in d act again and ma descision standz coz b4 naw i wasnt rili existin buh stil d woundz and scars inflicted are yet to b healed dahz if they wil eva... Buh i pray God heals me!
Now aw it al started........
I knew abou sex stuf ryt frm wen i was a toddler... Probabli as a result of negative influence.... I got into sec sch wen i was 12 or there abou... By den i had full knwledge abou sexual acts... Buh was exposed to pornography... Had no knwledge of wat it was like... Den while i was stil in jss1, was amidst ma frwendz wen dey started discussin abou porn and lafin and i bin curious i kinda inquired frm dem and dey al started lafin at me dah i was exposed and 1 among dem promised bringin d stuff for me to watch also.... Xo he handed d stuf to me d next dai... Took it home and locked ma self in ma room and wen i inserted d disc... Loo and bhold#smh! Dah was aw i started doin porn.... And masturbatin too!
It came to a point wen i actuali masturbated in class whil ma yeacher was teachin.... Didnt knw it was sumfin terribl dah wil ave adverse effect on me at the long run. It kinda started eatin so deep into me dah... I neva let a dai go wif out d act and usuali it was continousli until i saw no fluid cum outa me again and diz continued apenin dai in dai out... I kept on doin diz feelin i was excitin ma self... Avin fun buh invariabli i was invitin disaster upon ma self
Not until i got into senior sec sch den i learnt dah d habit wasnt a gud 1... Dah itz nt healthy buh i was xo into it dah i cudnt pull out... I tried buh i cudnt. Den i started noticin dah dere was a drastic decline in ma growth.... Mental capacity.... Physical appearance and ma nites were always hell of a ride. And diz went on until i left sch and got admision into the uni buh cudnt stop... At a point i had to swear wif d bibl dah if i eva go into d act again i shud b struck dead buh cud yhu imagine i ended up doin even worst...
Naw wif dah am sure yhu wil agree wif me while i said dere are unseen demonic forces bhnd sum acts... Coz dere was nofin i didnt do to free ma self... Includin seekin assistance frm men of God and even trusted fwendz.... Stil yet!!!
Naw if yhu look at me... Kinda very slim... Am suposed 23 buh kinda look 18.... Shriveled and unhapi. Always taunted by teribl nyt mares of havin sex in d dream.... Cum within secondz.... Itz rili rili terribl!
Buh God bein so kind... He didnt get angry and end ma life al d while... He let me live to realize ma mistakes wif time... Nw ave done away wif al dah held me captive.... Ave discarded and stoped all dah arouses me and i dont dare view adult content... Buh as for d nyt mares dey stil haunt me sha... Even wen i pray... Dun knw y...mayb dahz d price am payin.
buh ah believe and i am sti opin dah wif time al of dah wil b gone... By His special grace!