it all started on the eve of new year,by 12midnight i call my bf to wish him happy new year ,he pick my calls but he was like call u back ,he don't even wish me back ,i felt sad because he was the first person i call not even my parent,he donot call me back after 1hour he called but i was so sad i donot pick him calls because i was crying so bad thinking of how he hav been treating me for the past years making me feel unwanted all of a sudden ,so in the afternoon i call him and gave him my mind,telling how he is using me for his own interest,how he cherise other girls to me,to be truthful i said alot of hurtful words but i was just angry,,so i cut the call,he call me back after 2days we try to settle everything ,i told him i was sorry for all i said it because i was angry that i will not wake up and start saying those words,,he told him he hav heard so we laugh alittle but i can still feel he is angry with me,he started treating me like trash when i lost my job and nothing was coming my ways anymore ,he was the one providing my needs,,i have try ending the relationship at the end i still run back to him ,right now am so confuse i have no job nothing at all,he knows it because i have no one else him to assist me alittle for the now but he always make me feel so sad,,that i hate myself feeling like killing myself,,since that new year eve incident anytime we have little quarrel he will bring up the issue again but i never brought the issue again when i found out he was cheating on me because we lives in diffferent countries,,i donot know what to do,,anymore,,i have try finding another job but nothing good is coming my way,,he is the only one assisting me now but he always make me feel bad,,what should i do,,thnx