10 steps to getting over an ex

Breaking up is hard to do, sure, but it's something we're pretty much guaranteed to go through at some point. And while the age-old method of getting over a guy with an oversized tub of ice-cream is still recommended, there are 10 basic ways of making the healing process a little less painful - and maybe minimising the amount of mistakes along the way...


1.Wallow: For a while at least. Crying is ok - who doesn't feel better after a good cry? But set yourself a deadline. A week of daytime TV in your PJs is plenty.
2.Make a clean break:[/b] Don't try to be their friend. As tempting as it is, if you're still in love with your ex, you are better off going 'cold turkey'. It's impossible to be someone's friend when you want more. However, if you have to remain friendly (due to kids, work or mutual pals) set some ground rules first. Keep the conversations strictly related to why you have to remain in contact and resist the urge to ask personal questions. Unless you're a masochist, you really DON'T want to know the gory details!
3.Change your relationship status discreetly:  Remove him from your friends list., including Facebook , - the last thing you need to see right now is a tagged photo of him with his arm around some babe. Even if there's nothing as blatantly agony-inducing as that, even the smallest status updates from him will serve as a constant reminder of your failed relationship. And whatever you do, avoid posting anything about your break-up yourself. Your meltdown need not be public fodder (cringe) and your pals need not
4.Remove memory triggers: Out of sight, out of mind. It may sting at first, but it's a simple step towards letting go. Replace the framed pictures of you and him with photos of family and friends who support you. Box up the letters, happy snaps and any other items that remind you of him and stow them away. Some people enjoy a good ceremonial burning, but it's a drastic step you may wind up regretting later. Once you're in a better frame of mind down the line, you can decide what to do with the box. And if you still feel like torching it, do it safely!
5.Spoil yourself: Go on! Take long bubble baths with an indulgent glass of wine, enjoy dinner-for-one with a feast of your favourite foods, book yourself a spa treatment or get your hair styled like an A-lister - anything to make you feel fabulous.
6.Don’t Rebound: It's good in theory, but it doesn't work. Give yourself time to heal before you bag another relationship to fill that void. Much better to work through that pain than pass it on to the next bloke. Only YOU can really make YOU happy. So the trick is to be happy within yourself before you can even think about dating again.
7.Get active: While it may be tempting to sit in your  PJs or nightdress and eat all you like, exercise improves moods and alleviates depression - plus the distraction will keep your mind off him. Load your iPod with your favourite kick-ass chick tunes and get active: before you know it, those loveable endorphins will take over.
8.Write hate mail: This can actually prove very therapeutic - never underestimate the power of pouring out those emotions on a page. Get all that anger, hurt and evil expletives out in a strongly worded letter - it may just stop you saying things to him you'll regret later. But for god's sake, destroy it after! Don't be tempted to mail it to him or you'll undo all your good work in one fell swoop. And avoid drunken-dialling. A good tip is to change his name in your phonebook to 'Do Not Call' or 'Do Not Text' to serve as a powerful reminder, which should penetrate that booze-fuddled brain of yours.
9.Know he’s going through same: Assume that your ex is hurting just as much in his own way. It may not be PC to enjoy another's pain, but it does, of course, help in this situation. And feel free to tell others this too - adding "yeah, he's taking it pretty hard" to the break-up story couldn't hurt, eh?
10.Find your support network and actually use it. Some people have a tendency to worry about burdening others with their problems, but you might be surprised to find out who's happy to listen in your hour(s) of need. And ensure they get you out on the town. Throwing on a pair of killer heels and a sparkly mini can't fail to bring a smile to your face - and a good cocktail or two with the girls is your best road to recovery. FACT.

The right medicine is to cut the snakes' heads.