I got a typical call very recently, here's the gist:

 

Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?

 

OMATSEYE: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?

 

Mr. 419: Haba, don't you remember me?  Who do you know in UK that could be calling?

 

(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap…)

 

OMATSEYE: Johnson!  Is that you?  (I don't know any Johnson in UK.)

 

(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)

 

Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson!  How come you didn't recognise my voice initially?

 

(Certain it's scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially.  I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call credit.)

 

OMATSEYE: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially bad boy)  Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note.  Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such).  Didn't you hear about his demise?  He was so bitter and full of original curses curses for you.

 

Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued)  I didn't hear. I would have come.

 

OMATSEYE:  Too bad.  You heard you mama is leprous too?  You didn't hear about that, abi?

 

Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.

 

OMATSEYE: (Enjoying myself thoroughly).  Too bad.  Is your wife that foolish too?  Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings?  If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?

 

Mr. 419: She's fine.   I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…

 

(Breaking in before he begins his story)

 

OMATSEYE: Johnson, O se mi o: you offended me.  I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared.  When am I having my money back?  You want me to curse you too like your father did?  I don't have his kind of patience I'm sure you know.  I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve.

 

Mr. 419:  (Grunted).  This issue is important...

 

OMATSEYE: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home?  Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad...  Are you now a 419?  Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you... And you can't escape it if you continue like this.  It's not a curse.

 

Mr. 419:  I'll repay you.

 

After about 50 minutes of moves and countermoves…I owned up.

 

OMATSEYE: See Mr. 419, I don't know any Johnson in UK.  I just needed to teach you a lesson.  Go get a proper job.

 

Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat'aaro! (Madman, and you've been cursing me since morning!)

 

Disconnected.

 

omatseye, na u b d 419 guy i dey sure

ok

hmmmmmmmmmmm
time out

.....................omat 419 hahahhaha

lolsz.......41999999

enter with ur change
to avoid disgrace
te eti e kosowo mi peeee
dem go pass ur bustop..lol

hehe..i dey sing ni ooo